“Ketika kita lahir, kita menangis dan orang-orang tersenyum menyambut datangnya kita di dunia. Saat kita mati nanti, biarlah orang-orang menangis sementara kita tersenyum.”

What if I die? Will they be sad? And I don’t even know if I will smile in the end.

As I try to answer those question, I only find my self burried in them, they multiplied. They come again before I solve any of them. Even I found myself trying to answer this, “Do I think too much?” or maybe, “Do I worry too much?”

This year is not exactly a good one for me. Yeah, I do have a good time, but I’m affraid this year isn’t better than 2008, at least that’s how i see it, I can’t have the good ending. As my death draws near, I only find myself getting farther from the answer of all the question in my life. I can’t get off the feeling that i keep doing pointless thing.

Yeah, I’m the big headed one, however I never have a slight intention of becoming a liar. But I’m affraid all my pride just bring me too far from where I should as I watch my self lying, broke my promise, and fool myself just to protect the pride. But one thing I won;t ever betray is this feelings, “I want to make all of the people I love, those who are precious to me proud to have me.”

I maybe have the bad ending this year, but it’s not that I’ve got nothing at all.

That’s it for now